When we first starting doing facilitation I started doing some networking and in calling some pregnancy crisis centers got a huge wake up call, cold glass of water in my face and a feeling that I just wasn’t a good person. When One of our birth moms started doing some work with us and she started making some calls – she called me crying saying she couldn’t do it anymore. Her heart ached. The first question many PCC’s will ask is are you a Christian organization, do you work with Same sex couples and are you pro life. When you work in adoption , there always seems to be “a side” . It was the most interesting phenomenon to me. And I’m not talking pro adoption or anti adoption, that in itself is enough to make anyone scream. No I’m talking about pro choice vs pro life and what’s even weirder is that no matter what choice is that you might have that those in that group still get to decide whether your worthy enough or not..REALLY!
So we are Christians, and openly admit that on our website..BUT we are not a Christian Professional Entity. We are also openly Pro Choice BUT not Pro Abortion meaning we feel each situation needs to be assessed individually and because we are not God we aren’t qualified to make the decision about whether a person should be banished and sent to live a life of leapers if they have had to make this decision. We don’t believe abortion should be a means of birth control. We don’t provide referrals for abortion. I worked as a recovery nurse in a clinic. I choose to leave because it was an uncomfortable place for me to be, but I don’t banish all those from my life who continue to work there or seek out services. I do understand everyone having a right to decide choice, what I don’t understand is why or how that persons choice gets to decide whether I am worthy or “Christian” enough or whether I qualify as a woman’s advocate. Example: We have been banished for lack of a better term by many PCC because we aren’t a Christian organization, we do not discriminate against same sex couples , and we are pro choice..weird because we are Christians, just because we don’t discriminate doesn’t mean that our whole client base is made up of same sex couples and we don’t refer clients for abortion. SO on the flip side, some women’s rights organizations have chosen not to work with us because – we openly state we are Christians on our website and we don’t refer for abortion (even though we are pro-choice. Crazy isn’t it? So because we have decided that what our role is in adoption is to find families who will love and support and forever be available to the children who are being born through the women who come to us for assistance. Because we have decided that we want to keep our parent applicants open to good qualified loving homes, because we choose to work with women from all walks of life and not place judgement on them by what has happened in their pasts or what they are walking through now – we have made ourselves “leapers” by these two very different groups of people. Both organizations who claim to be advocates for women and children. From where I sit though you only get their support if you think like them. What kind of an advocate is that..how Christian is that?
This past week was spent with us helping to find a family for a little boy who was already born. We had to do an outreach to several of the consultants we work with to find a qualified family. We presented a family from one of these agencies, expecting that they were screened and ready and because of professional courtesy we don’t charge a fee to the family or require a registration. This particular family was not chosen and when we reached out to them to ask if they would like to be included in our registration program for consideration of upcoming situations we received a response from them that they could not do that, because they were practicing Catholics and that because we were an agency that believed in Pro Choice they could not work with us. Our mouths dropped when we read this. What was going to happen if they had been chosen to adopt the baby we had presented them to and what do our choices have to do with the work that we do? Because we are pro choice does that make us unethical? Does that make our work any less important, or the women we help to find families branded? All I can say is that self selection is a wonderful process, what we don’t catch on a human eye, God provides for us.