When I was working in foster care the statement “I don’t think we could handle it” was on the most popular things a family could say about foster care list. Whether its right or wrong…and I think people do need to look at their limitations and abilities…if one is taking on the responsibility of being an adoptive parent you need to know ahead of time, it is going to be about what your child needs. Unfortunately that is one of the comments that stigmatizes the adoptive parent community – in the eyes of the rest of the triad. Adoption should be child centered. If an open adoption is something a parent thinks they can’t handle then adoption may be the wrong choice for them…or maybe they need to set themselves up in a situation where it isn’t an anticipation where open would be a choice. Adoption is an opportunity for those of (us) who may not be able to have children biologically to parent..but what we need to remember it’s primary responsibility is so that a child can have a family. So many come to adoption with a list of expectations..somewhere along the line the process has gotten muted..almost retail.
I think it’s important to be honest –