I’m changing the name of my blog today. When I look back at my statistics, the blog that I wrote..Is Adoption Right for you got the largest amounts of hits than any other – ever. And although most of the time I use this venue to vent, I would like people to read it and get something from it.
This morning Good Morning America did a segment on the Face Book use of networking for adoptive families. You may be surprised (or maybe not) by my reaction – I was a bit horrified. We have a group page for Sweet Beginnings Adoptions on Face Book so that’s not what I was bothered by. This is it: They portrayed this cute little couple with this cute little boy. The couple starts out playing with the little boy, then they go to a couch and they have the mom crying because she didn’t think she would ever be able to smile again after losing her babies. Then they talk about putting their cry for adoption on face book and received a call and now have their baby boy. There are so many things wrong with this. where should I start? First they didn’t talk about how adoption should always involve professionals. I know it all looks easy, but we are talking about working with human beings here. We are not exchanging commodities. Did the woman who relinquish have someone representing her? She hopefully did..but they don’t say that and so then you have someone who sees that they can adopt a baby by putting up a face book page..puts up a face book page. Did the couple have a home study done. I hope so but they didn’t mention that. Did they talk about what kinds of questions to ask each other? No. Did they talk about what is required to make any of this legal? Nooooo! All they talked about was that this family tried to have a baby, couldn’t so they put out a shout on face book and someone responded and now they have a cute little boy. And it worked so well they are going to do it again. (loud scream!) We have a facebook group page..I like face book, i visit and respond on other facebook pages and sites. But all ready this media has been abused by women who are taking advantage of families who have no clue about what they are doing, no clue about the adoption laws in their states. No clue about adoption dynamics, only that they want a baby. On the flip side there are families taking advantage of women who think they can trust anyone who puts up a face book page. They don’t know if the family has been screened and don’t know that the family needs to be screened. They don’t know their rights as a potential birth mother, what’s going to happen with them after they place? Is someone other than a local attorney watching to make sure birthfather rights are being protected? I know it seems as if I’m picking on what was supposed to be a great positive spin on adoption. And it could have been..IF they had mentioned that wanting a baby and putting up a face book page weren’t the only things you needed to do. What that piece of media actually did was set back any forward movement any of us who advocate for adoption have worked so hard to get. What it did was objectify potential adoptive families and minimize the process.